Life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense.

There are so many days, music day, earth day, this day that day, but is there any day as “self day” or “my day”. I am yet to hear about one. But then why is there no day for oneself. I don’t know, don’t want to know, and am glad it is not there. Anyways I am the best person to meet who vehemently opposes such “days”, and trust me I am also against the Hindu fanatic organizations who will not let others live. I don’t like this classification of days in to something like, ok today I’ll stay all day with my pappa and for the rest of the year I don’t care what is happening to him. Maybe this serves for the west but we Indians are a bit different. The very basis of our society is the way we live. All these “days” were created to help the west in connecting with their surroundings while they feverishly pursue their capitalist dreams. And we Indians, as good as we are, are never satisfied with what we have and have to compare, and if possible get, our neighbor’s linen. But this again is not our fault (then what the hell is, darn we Indians are all so faultless), since ages we have a habit of washing our linen in the open and hanging it out to dry and for all to see, and since we have eyes, we have ears, in short senses (or do we have it) we are bound to see the linen and then comment on it (we are good at it, aren’t we, so to help all get rid of this evil I have deactivated my blog comments) ,we need to compare and when we compare we are either happy or sad. Anyways, when it comes to west, their linen is always perceived to be better and cleaner, any guesses why we are all so eager to flaunt all the “phoren maal” when we all can sport Indian.
When it comes to traditions of western countries, we are all eager to jump at them, just because they are all so cool to follow and if we don’t we are all backward, un-cool, and at best “bhaiya” and “behanji” . Just one mention of it in a bollywood flick and there it goes, a new cult is born. Before 1996, when DTPH (Dil to Pagal Hai, and for those uninitiated in Hindi, heart is crazy) was released hardly anyone, save those who were already into the western customs and traditions or had good general knowledge, knew about the concept of “Valentine’s Day”, let alone celebrate it. After this it has become a phenomenon, and I guess, and may be it is the case, that apna Hindustan, may be the country where most number of people celebrate it, with or without even knowing what are they doing let alone why they are. The people who for sure have fallen in love with this concept are the corporations that sell gifts for the day and laugh and celebrate at the very look of their coffers that have bloated up like a hog. Just see the vulgar prices that the gifts sell at on that day, a large, heart shaped soft toy sells for eighteen grand only to be massacred when the two “lovers” break up. The youth of any country is vulnerable, in the US kids go on a shooting spree, mowing down their friends in a bid to save them from the tyranny of life, in India we are all see that the life is so rosy. If you don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend then Oh! my God, are you a homosexual??, another concept which has now become so common, people actually have started to fear it to be true ( the concept of not having a GF/BF means you have a natural tendency towards…. ). After this, so many “days” have been celebrated/ invented, mostly by corporations to help them smile broader. Every “day” is a new “day” now. If nothing is planned for some day, just name it after the first thing you see in the morning, and if it your ugly face then there you have it finally “my day”.
This vulnerability is what is exploited and made good use of by the businessmen. The concepts of west are shown to be the coolest thing around and those following them to be the hottest lot. We many a times overlook what suits us. What is good and what is not for our society, our culture. We tarnish our culture on the pretext of moving ahead with times. Can we not take care and respect our elders while we work, respect women, lead a life based on karma, our fore fathers did it and so did my dad and I hope I too will do it. People say, “pehle ki baat aur thee, tab bahut time tha, itna tension nahin thaa life mein”, arey bhai its still the same, just that we have started to compare the linen more often now than we did before. Now we want every child to graduate from IIT/AIIMS/IIM else he/she is of no use. And this is what keeps on getting added till the concept of great western cultures sets in. we have taken our values for granted and then suffer. Many feel that others are good. I tell this because I have seen people think on these lines, they forget who and what they are in a bid to be like someone whom they always wanted to be, and in this loose themselves. Instead of aping we should try to imbibe the good of all, and that too if it suits us. We have a great culture and we should respect it. The best part of it all is that now the firangis whom we were aping are finding the wisdom that we took for granted to be their savior. Now doctors in west prescribe yoga and pranaayam as a way to remain healthy. Sanskrit is the most researched language in the world and has been found to be the most logical, being used for developing highly efficient coding practices and languages. And where are we? Much “ahead” in time, almost nearing demise of great traditions. Now we get teachers from U.S. and England to teach us yoga, Sanskrit and the ancient wisdom. One of my friends got to know the correct spelling of his name by a British emigration officer when he reached London (they still have no idea of numerology, it seems, ask our bollywood nautankiwaalas who owe their success to that extra “A” in their name).
There is still time we woke up and started feeling proud of our traditions, saying namaste instead of wassup, and following what our elders taught us. We have moved ahead to let go superstition but not traditions, we have moved ahead to let go discrimination on basis of caste etc., but not of good and bad. Hope that the great traditions continue the way they have for thousands of years. After all life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense.

British

British, should we hate them?? I used to and still am not their biggest fan. Reasons I’ll tell but first why I changed. I hated history, like every other thing in my curriculum, it bored me. But as soon the subject was gone from my schedule I have developed a strange liking for it. I actually read all my history books again, this time with all my interest, not for marks but for knowledge, to know who we are, and how we became what we are.
Earlier when I read history, I did it for a different reason and was not analytical in my approach. What I did was just rote for exams. As we all know that the books offer facts which are explained in a manner that suits the perception of the author and in case of history what has been portrayed through the years is that the English were bad, they ruled over us and what all they did was unjust. We are made to believe that they are tyrants and lootere who came and ransacked us of our riches and then were thrown out only when the valiant warriors of India sacrificed for us. I am not underestimating the sacrifices of our freedom fighters, because after all it was them because of which we breathe freedom and fear no one. Our land is finally ours. But then what we overlook is the very fact that in spite of all this there was much that the British gave in return of their rule in India.
Let me put forward some of the points because of which I have changed my view a little bit.
First of all, it was because of the British that India is what it is today. By this I mean the geographical and the political unity that we now display. Earlier we were just a group of small independent princely states who could not stand each other. Very similar to what Afghanistan is today. Small disintegrated land of fighting clans. The British did it just to forward their policy of ruling the world and helped us. Else we would still have been what we were some two hundred years back. Fighting and planning for the next fight. When the British left they had already formed a basic skeleton of a new nation, seventh biggest in the world and the biggest democracy. Our politicians of that age, driven by the zeal to make a new country contributed a lot in making this possible. After the British left it was Sardar Vallabh Bhai Patel who worked furiously to give shape to what is India now. Had it not been him and others who helped him, supported him we all would again be fighting all. Also the British got us to use a common currency, administration and taxes binding us for a common fate.
Next what I feel is the biggest gift of the British rule is the English language. Something our fore fathers learned to get lucrative jobs under queen’s rule and we learn to rule the world. It is a priceless gift which has immensely helped us. This language is now the global lingua-franca and one cannot do with out it in this flat world. Where ever you go, be it China, Japan or Europe this is one thing you can definitely not go without. Even the French and the Chinese have now woken up to the fact that they have to learn English and its not going to be other way around. The economic growth of our country can be attributed mainly to the service industry and the back office work that we do. Had it not been for English we would still not be as well off as we are today. Our knowledge of this language has helped us moult our image from that of the land of the snake charmers and the elephants to the one of being the technology people. Besides the economic advantage that we have gained from this language there is one distinct advantage which we cannot possibly overlook. India is a land of diversity. Changing slowly from one end to the other and becoming absolutely different by the time you reach the end. The cultures and everything is so different and unique for every state, one has to be experienced to be fully appreciated. This is where the knowledge of English has helped us. Earlier on we could not have thought of a national language as we think of now. Then the times were very sensitive and even a small provocation could have ended in a disaster. That time it was this language that held us together till the cement of trust and understanding set in and gave us Bharat.
After the language and the national integration, how do we maintain it. We have communication to help us rule. The post and telegraph system set up by the British is what we still use. Today we use cellular technologies to communicate but then it was them who started it, other wise there was a very distinct possibility and a high probability that we would have been left using pigeons and runners to convey our messages, a lazy lot is what we Indians are, we would have been satisfied by what we use. In India sab chalta hai bhai, tension kyun lene ka, message mil gaya naa, jaldi karke kya karte???
Again transport system was build by them and it is still the same that we use today. Be it the Mumbai local or the tram of Calcutta, we still travel and had they not been built by the british I cannot say if we would have had them. The railway system is a real master piece of engineering, helping us a lot, especially the middle class to travel and the industry to transport. Curse as much as you may want to the railways for running late but remember the people who made it possible for us to travel. Some may say, the British did it to serve their own ends, but then think for some time, the rulers of this country at those time were busy building forts and palaces for their luxury, and attending mushaira’s and writing proses for their enterainment and satisfaction. The technological advancements were very few in those times in our country unlike the earlier times when we ruled in education and technology. The world was getting industrialized and we were attending more concerts. And looked a bit more analytically that too was not entirely our fault, we had little problem with the system and were pretty satisfied with the things and when this is the case then what they did is what humans do, relax. Hence what they did has indeed helped us.
The technology they brought in helped us a lot. The weather forecasting methods for a better agricultural produce, the digging up of canals for irrigation of far off lands, till now dependent solely on rains cannot be overlooked or underestimated. All these and many more have helped us a lot.
One more thing, giving us a distinct economic advantage now is that the understanding that we gained from the effective usage of the youth energy. Earlier most of this energy was wasted in the fields playing games and doing nothing else. The british helped us to use this in a fruitful manner. It started getting used in more than one ways. The british brought in many new career avenues like engineering, medical and law, which were before then very unorganised and not in the form it is seen today. This gave youth the power of choice, earlier on they usually did what their forefathers have been doing for ages and many a times with out interest. Any other work was taken to be a rebellion by the family members. With the new avenues opening up, they were considered to be prestigious and finally the young could choose. For many though it still remained a choice made be their family none the less many took advantage of the opportunity. For others the freedom struggle helped them use their energy for a common cause. This gave us many leaders which may not have been there save for the british and their ways.
These and many more points can be cited and analysed on how we were helped. Just that cannot think of more now. J J J J J

Lonely..... :(

Lonely…. there is nothing as lonely, I am there naa, don’t worry. Chuck out this melodrama and get real, u have so many people around you why do you say so, no one is lonely today, especially you said my friend. Today when I look back, I feel that what was said then was very true, so correct. Look at me now; this may be what loneliness is. Not alone but still alone. With friends but still without them. Not sad but then not happy too. It’s a weird state in which I am. Seriously, never did I feel so bound down and so free at the same time. Feels as if I am on an island with a group of friends partying and I have turned vegetable. Cannot feel anything, see anything, cannot express myself when I so want to. A state of mind, weird to the extent of being disturbing, driving you insane.

This is a strange situation. I am not at peace with myself. There is a fight that ensues every time I open my eyes. I fight with myself. I say that what all has happened is for good but then somewhere inside I know, I feel, no, all is not right. There is something that is lost, something that is missing. I don’t know what but am having a hunch there is something. The feel is same when you pack for a vacation and then in the back of your mind you keep on thinking, have I left out anything??? Passport?? documents?? Tickets?? Do I have it all?? You check twice, thrice and still don’t find what’s missing. But then you carry on, cannot waste an age trying to find out that you left your handkerchief, can you?? So it is with my state of mind, just that I am checking it more than those three times, have to be very sure on this vacation of life.

I listen to music, see people around, children playing, quarrelling for petty things, I smile at their innocence and pray for its long existence. Every thing that they do is out there for every one to see. No malice what so ever. I feel emaciated, drawn to the limits and left there to get accustomed. I never feel fresh, I long for that feeling but its just not there, try as much as I want to. Sleep for long hours, take cold showers, have tequila shots, just to cross that threshold to feel new, the way you were. You cannot climb this wall of a threshold. Cannot. The effort is for me to say, yes, I tried. You look up, try again, cry at the failure, laugh at your self for its you who has landed yourself at the place you are.

No one understands me, not even myself. The face misleads everyone, convincing every soul that you are the happiest of them all. The smiles are responded to. I want everyone to behave as bad as they can so that I feel good about my present. I try if people will leave me, if I stopped trying from my side, and they do. The world is a mirror said someone and now here I am standing in front of it, naked, to see every fault I have, magnified, too hard to believe it’s me. The truth is there for me to see but I don’t want to accept it. It makes me feel small, alien. Is it me?? It cannot be!!!
After all I was good to everyone, never hurt anyone, never lied and if I did it was for everyone to be happy. I did not know that lies harmless for others will ring the death knell for peace in my life.

I see people happy around me and then I doubt; are they actually happy?? Or is this just a façade?? are they doing it just to make me feel even worse??? I start thinking and then go into the abyss of dismay, trying to come out but being pushed down further, rock tied to me, falling fast, as if never to come out. I stabilise only to find myself deep down, try to come out but then slip again. I know this way I am going to hurt just myself and those who love me, I hope someone does, but how to come out??
I don’t know. I think I should stop trying; enough has been invested on this. Lets go out and enjoy every thing, the pain, misery, joy and happiness. I will do it, no one can stop me from being happy now, I have had enough of this. After all some one has also said, life is a ice-cream, enjoy it before it melts away. So why waste my ice cream for a flavour I could not have.